I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Randomize
