if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
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