wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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