listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
