Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
