stop calling my apartment porn island.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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