I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
