wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
