I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
