Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
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