ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
