I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
