Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
