Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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