I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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