i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Randomize
