One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
