I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize