i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
