Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
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