We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
