I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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