We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Randomize
