I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
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