Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Can I color on your dick again?
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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