Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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