and she was petting her beer can
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
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Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver just had a heart attack.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
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