That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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