Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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