All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
