Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
