i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I just blew my weed a kiss
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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