Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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