i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
