i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
