Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
