That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Randomize
