I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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