Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize
