It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
