It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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