what day is it and did you see me today?
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
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