Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
