I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Randomize
