he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
