I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
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Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
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my poor anus
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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