The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
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