everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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