loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
