You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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