We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
