Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Randomize
