I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
