Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
