When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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