i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
