she woke up with a sticky ear
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
