Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
