He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
