This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
My pussy is not your playground.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
