I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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