I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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