all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
