Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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