Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize