Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
